Self-esteem doesn’t have much to do with your ability or talents. It has everything to do with how you feel about yourself.
It can affect anyone———even those who seem to have everything going for them.Many of us were saddened when Robin Williams died.
He filled arenas with fans in the 1980’s and his comedy is still appreciated by millions of people. Williams confessed to a reporter,’I had enormous self-image problems and very low self-esteem,which I hid behind obsessive writing and performing’.
‘What you see on the outside may be very different from what is going on,on the inside. When you love who you are,it makes life simpler. You are not always striving to reach some impossible standard of perfection.
You are less affected by the opinions of others and no longer your own worst enemy. It is possible to learn how to build self-esteem and grow to love who you are.I hope this article 8 ways to help YOU build self-esteem does just that.
CAUSES OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM
- bad childhood experiences such as bullying or criticism from parents or teachers.
- difficult life experiences like a relationship breaking down or financial difficulties.
- your personality or temperament -perhaps you have a tendency towards negativity or feeling that you are the odd one out.
- your relationships–associating with people who are critical,and make you feel bad about yourself.
- your own mind–you may have fallen into a cycle of destructive thinking.
- trauma and physical,psychological or sexual abuse.
- discrimination–belonging to a family or social group not accepted by others.
EFFECTS OF LOW-SELF-ESTEEM
Low self-esteem has all kinds of effects on your behavior.
You find it difficult to make decisions. You will listen to what everyone else thinks and still second-guess all your choices.
You are highly offended when you feel like someone has slighted you,such as failing to include you in their plans or forgetting your birthday.
You will never do anything on your own,like going to a movie because it makes you feel like a social failure.
You tend to badmouth others because it makes you feel superior. You cannot be happy when others succeed because you are not happy with yourself.
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Low self-esteem makes it difficult to complete tasks,form new relationships,try new activities and over time this may lead to depression.Behavior like drinking or taking drugs is often related to low self-esteem. You do not care enough about yourself to worry about the consequences.
CHECK YOUR THOUGHT AND SPEECH PATTERNS
Your internal dialogue:
Do you think about your flaws rather than your accomplishments? Are you more likely to feel’I can’t do that’, than ‘I can beat this’? Do you face every new challenge with negative thoughts?
Are you constantly putting yourself down? When someone offers you a compliment,how do you react? If someone compliments you on what you are wearing,is your immediate response to say you need to lose weight? If someone compliments you on a achievement,do you downplay it because you think you are being boastful if you acknowledge it?
8 Ways To Help YOU Build Self-Esteem
There is no way to transform your thinking and behavior overnight. It takes time to break the cycle and you need to work on it consistently to see the results in your life. You have to break that conditioning that says ‘I’m not good enough” and prevents you from handling any situation where you might be exposed to criticism
Management and treatment of low self esteem can be treated with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It offers a practical approach where you try out new ways of behaving,and observe the effect that this has on the way you feel about yourself. You learn to:
- Physical exercise,diet and sleep all contribute towards improved self-esteem.Working on these areas will not only keep you healthy but make you feel much better about yourself.
- Reading self-help books also help you to learn how to develop a positive mindset.
- Become more assertive. It is possible to be assertive and set clear boundaries in relationships without being aggressive or obnoxious. We fear being assertive because we think we will be thought of as overbearing if we truly value ourselves,we will not allow others to treat us with disrespect.
- Spend time with people who are supportive and have a positive effect on you. Some people will suck you into their mind games,making you feel insecure and bad about yourself.Avoid them altogether
- Avid comparisons. Constantly comparing yourself with others is a very destructive habit. Instead you need to look at how far you have come.
- Change your internal dialogue–You have to stop that little voice inside your head that that keeps telling you that you don’t measure up. Focus on your strengths.
- STOP thinking that you have to be perfect. It is normal to make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up over them,learn from them instead.
- Celebrate small victories. When you complete a task or succeed at a challenge,you will feel good about yourself. Succeed at several small goals and the momentum will build.
When low self-esteem issues are not addressed,negative thinking patterns can get worse over time and result in serious health problems such as anxiety and depression. If you are still battling despite trying to help yourself,and feel you need help,you may want to give self-help groups a try.
Conquering your self-esteem issues will transform your life. It will enable you to accept compliments graciously,value your accomplishments,reach your goals and establish healthy relationships.
If this article helped you or you think it would help someone you know. Please share to your social media outlets. This is one of the biggest ways you can help me out,If you wish to do so. Thanks so much